Short Story: Rule One.

Rule one: Drop the plastic plates instead of the china ones. Plastic plates survive the fall, the china ones don't. Plastic plates are durable and china ones are delicate. Mama always told her family that. There were four members of the family: Mama, Dad, Astrid, and Carla. Mama was beautiful. Dad was dependable. Astrid was young. And Carla was there.

Carla’s chore was to wash the dishes so Mama made sure she knew that if she was too weak to carry all the dishes she should just hold onto the new, expensive porcelain.

“Plastic plates don’t break easily and if one snaps or something we can afford to buy some new ones. Only cost $2.79 for three of them!” Mama chirped.

“Okay, Mama” murmured Carla.

“Carla, speak up when you’re talking to your mother. By God, some days I wish you would just…just…do something memorable. What are you going to do when you are on your own? Quiet girls don’t make it far.” Mama exclaimed quite stridently.

Carla said nothing at all.

Mama wondered what she did wrong. Carla was their eldest child, she loved her, but Carla was simply too predictable. No, not predictable. That’s the wrong word for it. Steady? Certain? She came to the conclusion that words simply could not describe Carla. Carla was cookie-cutter yet complex all at the same time.

Carla was their mistake. She was not prepared for Carla. Mama was picking up some cheap serving dishes for a St. Patrick’s day party. She had just gotten off the phone. She had been talking to her sister.

“Just get the test. It will give you peace of mind to know. Just get the test” Dolores had said. Dolores was wrong. She just wrecked a St. Patrick’s day party.

She and Dad had not been expecting a baby, a flimsy, synthetic test wrecked all of that . Two little lines. Mama was pregnant.

With Astrid everything was different. Mama was ready with Astrid. Dad had gotten a promotion. Quiet Carla showed the parents that they were fantastic at parenting. They were ready this time.

The prepared parents went out to dinner, had a nice glass of red wine and a nice red steak on a nice red porcelain plate. Soon enough Mama stopped bleeding red and Dad bought another test. This time they checked the results together. Two little lines. Mama was pregnant.

“MAMA!? MAMA?!” screeched Astrid. “MAMA, I made this necklace for you!”

“For me?” Mama cooed.

“Yes, Mama. I love you, Mama” stated Astrid.

“Carla? Carla, dear, come help me put on this necklace Astrid made me. Isn’t that so sweet Carla. Carla?” said Mama.

Carla was still washing the dishes and had put in her headphones to listen to some music. Carla loved music; music felt like floating.

Damn those stupid headphones. Thought Mama. “Astrid, baby, do you think you could help Mama put on the necklace you made her?” Mama said dotingly.

“Oh yes Mama! I will try Mama!” yelped Astrid. With her sparkly pink fingers, Astrid delicately clasped the necklace she had made for Mama. She was very proud of her creation. It had all of Mama’s favorite colors in it: green, red, and blue. She put her favorite color, pink, into the necklace as well.

“There you go Mama, a beautiful necklace for a beautiful Mama” said Astrid adoringly.

“Aw, baby, I love you” Mama said as she gave her a deep, reassuring hug.

“Mama, why do you wear that bracelet with those tacky pony beads? It looks so old and, I love you Mama, but it makes you look cheap.” Astrid said unknowingly.

“Baby, you know why. I don’t want to hear anymore about that. Time for bed” Mama stated.

“But….” whined Astrid.

“Bed” finished Mama.

Astrid scrambled up the stairs, put on her pink pajamas, brushed her teeth, combed her hair, said her prayers, and put her pretty face on her soft, feather pillow. It took Astrid a couple minutes to go to bed. She had so much left to say!

Carla had finished the dishes. It was 10:39. This load has taken her 14 minutes. She was getting faster at this. Considering she had to put all the china onto fancy displays in the dining room, 14 minutes was not bad. Not bad at all. Thought Carla. She had dropped a plastic plate though this time. She hated when she did that. Even though she knew that they would not break she still felt like the plates had the right to remain in her hands. These plates were the ones they used everyday, thought Carla. Just because they are strong does not mean I should just drop them willy-nilly. Stop personifying plates. You read too much.

Carla rolled her eyes at her mind. Carla often said to herself that if people could see inside her head she would be in an insane asylum by now, that was why God made her shy and gave her a notebook.

She walked up the stairs, took a right, opened her door, stumbled to her bed, and passed out. She was exhausted.

BEEP BEEP BEEP.

Astrid springs out of bed and taps the off button. Another glorious summer day. Carla does not do that. She hits snooze. Mama wakes her up.

“Good morning, Carla. Daddy is coming home today. Don’t forget to do the dishes.”

“Yes, Mama. I won’t.” Carla put music to her ears and began to scrub. She put the china plates away. 6 minutes, 43 seconds. Time for the plastic plates. Something inside her whispered, “turn up the music.”